Relax, Think, Have Fun & Entertain Yourself

Quarter Life Crisis - dunno who wrote it..but makes interesting reading

2008-02-27T08:39:00.000-08:00

BEING IN TWENTIES – SOMETHING…

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

Epithet - Wise words

2007-07-04T04:37:00.001-07:00

The following words were written on the tomb of a priest buried at Westminster Abbey:

"When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world.

As I grew older and wiser , I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.

And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If only I had changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world."

TODAY I DIDN'T DO IT

2007-06-08T01:37:00.000-07:00

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring on a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom Door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from Work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply?

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Dreams-21 Things for Life

2007-04-17T05:05:00.000-07:00

Dreams rule me .. Why just me ? So is it for every man every person !

I can quote what Swami Vivekananda;

"TAKE ONE IDEA , MAKE THAT ONE IDEA(DREAM) YOUR LIFE .THINK OF IT DREAM OF IT
LIVE WITH THAT ONE IDEA .LET THE BRAIN MUSCLES , NERVES,EVERY PART OF THE BODY
THINK OF IT , LIVE FOR IT AND WORK FOR IT .."

Our dreams will come true . I always belive that to dream , to be passionate
about it and then to be always optimistic that our dream will come true .. it
will!!!Yes when one is depressed one tends to think the other way and at times
we lose hope but then when we go down on hopes trust God and leave the rest ..

Following the Holy Gita .."Do your duty, rewards will follow"

Trust , and God will be forced to keep up our trust in Him !!

So always dream .. and dream and dream .....follow them passionately and we will
surely reach them.

"If perception is reality, then reality necessitates an aesthetic perception of life.""

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.

3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

5. Success stops when you do.

6. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.

7. You will never have it all together.

8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

9. The biggest lie on the planet "When I get what I want I will be happy".

10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

11. I've learned that ultimately , 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

14. We often fear the thing we want the most.

15. He or she who laughs......lasts.

16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.

18. Life is what's coming....not what was.

19. Success is getting up one more time.

20. Now is the most interesting time of all.

21. When things go wrong.....don't go with them.

A Cup of Coffee

2007-04-11T06:33:00.000-07:00

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together
to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into
complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and
returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups
-porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some
expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the
coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up,
leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.

While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that
is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself
adds no quality to the coffee in most cases, just more expensive; and
in some cases, even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you
consciously went for the best cups... and then began eyeing each
other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and
position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life,
and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we
live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the
coffee God has provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups.....enjoy your coffee.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with
the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the
ones that care.

Winners have dreams...

2006-07-12T03:49:00.000-07:00

Winners have dreams

Losers have schemes

Winners see the grains

Losers see the pain

Winners see the potential

Loser see the past

Winners make it happen

Losers let it happen

Winners see possibilities

Losers see problems

Winners make commitments

Losers make promises

Winners are a part of the team

Losers are apart of the team

The Winner always has a program.

The Loser always has an excuse.

The Winner says, "Let me do it for you."

The Loser says, "That's not my job."

The Winner is always part of the answer.

The Loser is always part of the problem.

The Winner sees an answer for every problem.

The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it's possible."

The Loser says, "It might be possible but it's too difficult."

God's Timing is Right:

2006-07-07T03:18:00.000-07:00

What ever that happens in life, happens for good......so stop worrying about the future and forget the past

After Sept. 11th, one company invited the remaining members of other companies who had been decimated by the attack on the Twin Towers to share their available office space. At a morning meeting, the head of security told stories of why these people were alive...... and all the stories were just the

'L I T L E' things.

As you might know, the head of the company survived that day because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts. One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One of them missed his bus. One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon
as he should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone... all the little things that annoy me. I think to myself, this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment...

Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed, you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every traffic light, don't get mad or frustrated.

God is at work watching over you.

May God continue to bless you with all those annoying little things and may you remember their possible purpose.

Diary Writing His Vs. Her

2006-07-07T03:04:00.000-07:00

HER DIARY

Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing."I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u,too."When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaste r.

HIS DIARY

Today India lost the cricket match against bangladesh.
DAMN IT.

NOW that's called

Simplicity of Men
Vs
Complexity of Women !!!

BOSS!!

2006-06-27T04:26:00.000-07:00

Story of Three Parrots

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.

The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was $250.
"$250", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk. "He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, $500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer p rogrammer.

Finally, the man inquir ed about the cost of the last parrot.

The clerk replied, "$1,000."

Curious as to how a bird can cost $1,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.

The clerk repli es, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

But the other two call him "BOSS"!!

Wrong Number

2005-11-01T23:05:00.000-08:00

It was the day of my son's XII results and I was so tensed. I sat beside him while he logged on the website with his registration no. "

Ma" , he screamed in excitement," I scored 1191, with centum in 4 subjects. I cant believe it. " I kinda became numb in my excitement.My eyes became wet. I kissed him on his forehead and smiled . My husband had gone out of station on some business trip and my son immediately called him on his cell and told him of the news.

Soon we realized that he stood first in the state. Oh, my joy knew no bounds when Reporters and media persons soon swamped my house for interviews and photos. I was so honored to join him in the snaps. I wanted to call my "wrong-number-friend to tell him the news......I was so excited. He was someone whom I have known for more than 20 years.

I still do not remember when we became friends, but certainly cannot forget the first day he called me when I blasted him for giving me so many wrong calls.....after that he had called up a week later asking apology, for he had now got the right no of his friend whom he wanted to talk to .We spoke for an hour that day...even without knowing each other's names. Though he kept pestering me to reveal my name I never did and so he kept a name...Sweety. I used to get so shy whenever he called me `Sweety'. I was doing first year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a Computer Engineering student. From then he used to call me very often . We almost discussed everything .. By the final year of my college, we probably we were in love, but I had been cautious. I was in a dilemma whether to tell him. But what if he was of a different religion? Do I have the courage totalk to my parents about it? ........all these questions ran through my mind. I decided I'll not talk to him thereafter. When he called next time I lied to him I that I was going to Delhi for my post graduation. He gave me his office number and asked me to ring him up once I reach there. I never called .......

A couple of months later my marriage got fixed with a guy of my parent's choice. I was not happy but I did not complain; rather accepted it as an obedient daughter. At times I felt I missed my wrong-number-friend.......

My hubby was a moody person; I have hardly spent any good time with him-but he was genuine indeed and never bothered my personal space.

After 2 years we had a boy...Yet,I was not very happy with my married life...One day I happened to browse through my diary and found I still had my old friend's office phone no that he had given me. I dialed it and spoke with him. He said he was married and got a kid too. I was happy for him though in the bottom of the heart I felt bad that I could not marry him.

From then I used to occasionally call him on that number. I never gave him mine as I felt that would put me in trouble...And till today I almost shared everything with him including my relationship with my hubby.....today I was so happy and I wanted to call him. Just then I got a call.

"Your husband met with an accident and died on the spot" I banged the phone down. I broke. I did not call my friend.....I somehow started feeling guilty. I have never tried to talk to him properly when he was alive or moved close with him....I felt I had been a bad wife........

A couple of years passed and one day my son brought home a Bengali girl and said they wanted to get married. I got them married as I did not want my son to go through what I did. I decided to give my son his father's room and started clearing it. There was a phone book. I gently opened it to find, " Wrong no Sweety -26538887"

God always puts the right numbers together. Its we who interpret it wrong!!!

and one more thing " if u love some one express it"...

QUIZ....with two lessons

2005-09-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

Take The Following Quiz.....................You don't need a pen, pencil, or paper.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for Best Actor and Actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series Winners.

How did you do?

1st LESSON

NONE of us remembers the headliners of yesterday.There are no second-rate achievers on the above quiz. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

NOW .......here's another quiz.

See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school. 2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile. 4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
6. Name a half dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

Wasn't that a lot easier?

2nd LESSON

The people who make a difference in your life aren't the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They're the ones who care enough to spend personal time and effort for you.

Never Miss the First Opportunity !!

2005-07-02T04:08:00.000-07:00

A young man wished to marry the farmer's beautiful daughter. He went to
the farmer to ask his permission. The farmer looked him over and said,
"Son, go stand out in that field. I'm going to release three bulls,
one at a time. If you can catch the tail of any one of the three bulls, you
can marry my daughter."

The young man stood in the pasture awaiting the first bull. The barn door
opened and out ran the biggest, meanest-looking bull
he had ever seen. He decided that one of the next bulls had to be a better
choice than this one, so he ran over to the side and let the bull pass
through the pasture out the back gate. The barn door opened again.
Unbelievable. He had never seen anything so big and fierce in his life.

It stood pawing the ground, grunting, slinging slobber as it eyed him.
Whatever the next bull was like, it had to be a better choice than this
one. He ran to the fence and let the bull pass through the pasture, out
the back gate.

The door opened a third time. A smile came across his
face. This was the weakest, scrawniest little bull he had ever seen. This
one was his bull. As the bull came running by, he positioned himself just
right and jumped at just the exact moment. He grabbed... but the bull had
no tail!

Life is full of opportunities. Some will be easy to take
advantage of, some will be difficult. But once we let them pass (often
in hopes of something better), those opportunities may never again be
available. So always grab the first opportunity.

Top Ten Strategies for Wildly Effective Stress Management

2005-07-02T02:36:00.000-07:00

1.Organize Yourself

Take better control of the way you're spending your time and energy so you can handle stress more effectively.

2.Control Your Environment by controlling who and what is surrounding you.
In this way, you can either get rid of stress or get support for yourself.

3. Love Yourself by giving yourself positive feedback
Remember, you are a unique individual who is doing the best you can.

4. Reward Yourself by planning leisure activities into your life

It really helps to have something to look forward to.

5. Exercise Your Body since your health and productivity depend upon your body's ability to bring oxygen and food to its cells

Therefore, exercise your heart and lungs regularly, a minimum of three days per week for 15-30 minutes. This includes such activities as walking, jogging, cycling, swimming, aerobics, etc.

6. Relax Yourself by taking your mind off your stress and concentrating on breathing and positive thoughts

Dreaming counts, along with meditation, progressive relaxation, exercise, listening to relaxing music, communicating with friends and loved ones, etc.

7. Rest Yourself as regularly as possible

Sleep 7-8 hours a night. Take study breaks. There is only so much your mind can absorb at one time. It needs time to process and integrate information. A general rule of thumb: take a ten minute break every hour. Rest your eyes as well as your mind.

8. Be Aware of Yourself

Be aware of distress signals such as insomnia, headaches, anxiety, upset stomach, lack of concentration, colds/flu, excessive tiredness, etc. Remember, these can be signs of potentially more serious disorders (i.e., ulcers, hypertension, heart disease).

9. Feed Yourself / Do Not Poison Your Body

Eat a balanced diet. Avoid high calorie foods that are high in fats and sugar. Don't depend on drugs and/or alcohol. Caffeine will keep you awake, but it also makes it harder for some to concentrate. Remember, a twenty minute walk has been proven to be a better tranquilizer than some prescription drugs.

10. Enjoy Yourself

It has been shown that happier people tend to live longer, have less physical problems, and are more productive. Look for the humor in life when things don't make sense. Remember, you are very special and deserve only the best treatment from yourself.

Biggest Brain Damaging Habits

2005-07-02T02:30:00.000-07:00

1. No Breakfast

People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar
level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain
causing brain degeneration.

2. Over eating

It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in
mental power.

3. Smoking

It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption

Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients
causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.

5. Air Pollution

The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air
decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in
brain efficiency.

6. Sleep Deprivation

Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will
accelerate the death of brain cells.

7. Head covered while sleeping

Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon
dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain
damaging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness

Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in
effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts

Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation
thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

Ten commandements for peace of mind

2005-05-18T02:51:00.000-07:00

On several occasions, I have been asked to speak on the ways and means to attain peace of mind - the most sought after 'commodity' in humanlife since time immemorial, especially so in today's world in the ratrace of commercialism and cut-throat competition. It appears that mostof us are in a state of perpetual restlessness notwithstanding thegood health care and basic economic security that we enjoy.

On analyzing the causes of this restlessness, I have ventured to findfor myself ten solutions to attain peace of mind that I would be happyto share with you. I call them the "ten commandments" because theyneed to be followed religiously and with complete diligence if we areserious about achieving perfect peace of mind.

1. Do not interfere in others' business unless asked
Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others'affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that ourway is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic, and those who donot conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to theright direction, our direction.This kind of attitude on our part denies the existence ofindividuality and consequently the existence of God, for God hascreated each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can thinkor act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they dobecause they are prompted to do so by the Divine within them. There isGod to look after everything. Why are you bothered? Mind your ownbusiness and you will have your peace.

2. Forget and forgive
This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often nurture illfeeling inside our heart for the person who insults or harms us. Wefoster grievances, which in turn results in loss of sleep, develops ofstomach ulcer, high blood pressure and many other ailments thatstealthily gnaws us from within.We forget that the insult or injury was done to us once but bynourishing the grievance we go on excavating the wound forever.Therefore it is essential that we cultivate the art of forgiving and forgetting. Believe in the justice of God and the doctrine of Karma.Let Him judge the act of the one who insulted you. Life is too shortto waste in such trifles. Forget, forgive, and march on.

3. Do not crave for recognition
This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybodywithout selfish motive. They may praise you today because you are richand have power but no sooner you are powerless, they will forget yourachievement and start criticizing you.Moreover, each person is a mortal with a bundle of defects in them. Noone individual is picture perfect. Then why do you value the words ofpraise of another mortal like you? Why do you crave for such falserecognition and lose your peace of mind if the world does not praiseyou? Believe in yourself. People's praises do not last long and arenot worth it. Do your duties ethically and sincerely and leave therest to God.

4. Do not be jealous
We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind.You know you work harder than your colleagues in the office but theyget promotions, you do not. You started a business several years agobut you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is onlyone year old. There are several examples like these in every walk oflife. Should you be jealous? No, remember everybody's life is shapedby his previous Karma that has now become his destiny. If you aredestined to be rich, not all the world can stop you. If you are not sodestined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained byblaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get youanywhere, but will only give you restlessness.

5. Change yourself according to the environment
If you try to change the environment single handedly, the chances areyou may fail. Instead, change yourself to suit the environment. As youdo this, even the environment, which has remained unfriendly for you,will mysteriously appear to be congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure what cannot be cured
This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Everyday we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations andaccidents that are beyond our control. We must learn to put up withthese things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully thinking, "Godwill it so, so be it". God's logic is beyond our comprehension.Believe it and you will gain in patience, in inner strength, in willpower.

7. Do not bite more than you can chew
This maxim should be always remembered. We often tend to take moreresponsibilities than we are capable to carry out. This is done tosatisfy our ego. Know your limitations. Why take on additional loadsthat may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind byexpanding your external activities. If you have extra time, then spendit in an inward life of prayer, introspection and meditation. Thiswill reduce those thoughts in your mind, which make you restless.Fewer the thoughts, greater is the peace of mind.

8. Meditate regularly
Meditation makes the mind thoughtless. This is the highest state ofpeace of mind. Try and experience it. If you meditate earnestly forhalf an hour every day, you will tend to become calm during theremaining twenty-three and a half hours. Your mind will not bedisturbed as much as before. You must gradually increase the period ofdaily meditation. You may think this will interfere with your dailywork. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will turn out more work in less time.

9. Never leave the mind vacant
Empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil deeds start in the mind.Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile.Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. Youmust decide what you value more - money or peace of mind. Your hobby,like social work or temple work may not always earn you more money,but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even if youare resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God's name (japa).

10. Do not procrastinate and never regret
Do not waste time in wondering "should I or shouldn't I?" Days, weeks,months and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You cannever plan enough because you can never anticipate all futurehappenings. Always remember God has His own plan too. Value your timeand do things. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You canrectify your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back andworrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes but do notbrood over the past.

DO NOT REGRET! Whatever happened was destined tohappen only that way. Take it as the will of God. You do not have thepower to alter the course of God's will. Why cry over the spilt milk?

May God help you remain at peace
With yourself and the world
Om shanti shanti shanti

Did You Know? How ur Blood type and Rh match with others...

2005-04-29T04:56:00.000-07:00

Did You Know?

About Blood type and Rh factor.....

How many people have it?

O + 40 %

O - 7 %

A + 4 %

A - 6 %

B + 8 %

B - 1 %

AB + 3 %

AB - 1 %

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION NOW

You Can Receive

----------------------------------------------------------------+-----

If Your Type Is O- O+ B- B+ A- A+ AB- AB+

----------------------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----

AB+ YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

----------------------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----

AB- YES YES YES YES

----------------------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----

A+ YES YES YES YES

----------------------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----

A- YES YES

----------------------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----

B+ YES YES YES YES

----------------------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----

B- YES YES

----------------------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----

O+ YES YES

----------------------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----

O- YES

----------------------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----

NEW ELEMENT IN THE PERIODIC TABLE --- Chemistry

2005-03-25T00:37:00.000-08:00

Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg;
Isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
3. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do notcome in direct contact with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS.

There's no charge for love...

2005-03-25T00:25:00.000-08:00

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into
the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to
take a look?"

Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs
made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller.

Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others,doing it's best to catch up....

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching
itself to a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy.

"No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

THE BEST OF THE WORST...

2005-03-25T00:14:00.000-08:00

THE WORST HIJACKING

We shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the most unsuccessful hijack attempt ever. On a flight across America, he rosefrom his seat, drew gun and took the stewardess hostage. "Take me toDetroit," he demanded. "We're already going to Detroit," she replied."Oh ...good," he said, and sat down again.

THE WORST BANK ROBBERY

In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bankof Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone, sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them. When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the headcashierlaughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke. Then oneof the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors again.

THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE

During the firemen's strike of 1978, the British Army had taken over emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it!!

LAWYERS VS INSURANCE

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably thecentury. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars,: then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyerfiled a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance companyrefused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigarsin the normal fashion. The lawyer sued .. and won! In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid$15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

It pays to Read....

2005-03-25T00:11:00.000-08:00

A couple goes on holiday to a fishing resort at Lakes Entrance. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lakes area, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a fishing inspector
in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies thinking "isn't that obvious!"

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and make a report."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the man.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.............

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also Think

Explanation of life

2005-02-28T04:40:00.000-08:00

The Explanation of Life ...

On the first day God created the dog.

God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."

So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey.

God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow.

God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man.

God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal." S

o that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

LIFE!!!

2005-02-11T01:00:00.000-08:00

There were once 2 brothers who lived on the 80th floor of a tall building.

On coming home one day, they realized to their dismay that the lifts were not working and that they have to climb the stairs home. After struggling to the 20th level, panting and tired, they decided to abandon their bags and come back for them the next day. They left their bags then and climbed on............

When they have struggled to the 40th level by this time they had gone sufficiently mad and irritated. The younger brother started to grumble and both of them began to quarrel. They continued to climb the flights of steps, quarreling all the way to the 60th floor.

They then realized that they have only 20 levels more to climb and decided to stop quarreling and continue climbing in peace. They silently climbed on and reached their home at long last. Each stood calmly before the door and waited for the other to open the door. And they realized that the key was in their bags which were left on the 20th floor.........

This story is a reflection on our life and times. All of us climb the tall building called life...........some till all the 80 floors and some less. Many of us climb under the expectations of our companion.

Time to time these are our friends and parents till the 20th floor, then our spouse and our dear ones till the next level of the building. We seldom get to do the things that we really like and love and are under so much pressure and stress so that by the age of 20, we get tired and decided to dump this load. Being free of the stress and pressure, we work enthusiastically
and dream ambitious wishes.

By the time we reach 40 years old, we start to lose our vision and dreams. We began to feel unsatisfied and start to complain and criticize. We live life as a misery as we are never satisfied.

Reaching 60, we realize that we have little left for complaining anymore, and we began to walk the final episode in peace and calmness. We think that there is nothing left to disappoint us, only to realize that we could not rest in peace we have an unfulfilled dream..........a dream we abandon 60 years ago. So what's your dream.....?

Know your dreams and follow it so that you will not live with regrets.

Help others and thank God.

Accept yourself...
Believe in yourself...
Like yourself...

Inside each of us are powers so strong,
treasures so rich,
possibilities so endless,
that to command them all to action would
change the history of the world.

Celebrate LIFE!!!

THE COFFIN

2004-12-24T05:24:00.000-08:00

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather diethan to live another year in prison. Over the years she had become goodfriends with one of the prison caretakers.His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in agraveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the caretakerrang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker then got the bodyand put it in a casket.

Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate beforereturning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the casket ona wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared itwith the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave hercell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept.

She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while thecaretaker was filling out the death certificate. When the care- takerreturned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prisonwith the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then burythe coffin.

The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe untillater in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard underthe cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since heand the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it.

The woman waited several weeks before some-one in the prison died.

She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She got up, picked the lock of her cell, and slowly walked down the hallway. Shewas nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast.She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the deadbody, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait forthe caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails.Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom.

The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud.

Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the woodencoffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would befree at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free! She was free!

Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out theidentity of the dead prisoner beside her. To her horror, she discovered thatshe was lying next to the dead caretaker.

Moral of the story -> Many people believe they have life all figured out..... but sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it !

Some Thoughts...

2004-12-14T21:14:00.000-08:00

Maybe God wants us to meet a
few wrong people before meeting
the right one so that when we finally
meet the right person, we will know
how to be grateful for that gift.

When the door of happiness closes,
another opens, but often times we look
so long at the closed door that we don't
see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you
can sit on a porch and swing with,
never say a word,
and then walk away
feeling like it was the best
conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've
got until we lose it, but it's also true
that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love
is never an assurance that they'll love you back.
Don't expect love in return;
just wait for it to grow in their heart
but if it doesn't,
be content it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,
an hour to like someone,
and a day to love someone,
but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks;
they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth;
even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile
because it takes only a smile
to make a dark day seem bright.

Find the one that makes your heart smile.
There are moments in life
when you miss someone so much
that you just want to pick them
from your dreams and hug them for real.

Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chanceto do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human,
enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes.
If you feel that it hurts you,
it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest of people
don't necessarilyhave the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything
that comes along their way.

Love begins with a smile,
grows with a kiss
and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based
on a forgotten past,
you can't go on well in life
until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and
everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one who is smiling and
everyone around you is crying.

Just relax for a minute and Laugh a While

2004-11-25T02:54:00.000-08:00

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the fieldTeacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing footballand the game went into extra time.

Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in twodays time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

Water, The Forgotten Nutrient

2004-11-17T21:40:00.000-08:00

Nutrients are substances that are essential for life.

The six basic nutrients are: carbohydrates, proteins, fats, vitamins, minerals and water.

While we do consume the first five through food we often `forget' to consume the sixth in adequate amounts. We can survive without food for 30 days but life would end without water in three to five days. More than that two-thirds of the human body is composed of water as is more than two thirds of the earth's surface.

Drink Water Even If You Are Not Thirsty Water is responsible for nearly every bodily process and is the primary transporter of nutrients. It helps maintain body temperature and is essential to carry waste material out of the body. Therefore replacing the water that is continually lost through sweating and elimination is very important.

Unfortunately most people only consume enough water to quench a parched throat - not enough to cover all the water lost. Again as we age, our sense of thirst become dull. Our modern lifestyle makes us overdose on salt as we eat fast foods, restaurant foods, junk food all of which is generally loaded with salt. Stimulants like tea, coffee, alcohol, aerated soft drinks, dehydrate us and further increase the body's demand for water.

In addition to this, as we grow older we have a lesser percentage of reserve body water. So we get progressively dehydrated. That is why you must drink water even when not thirsty. Healing Power Of Water Water is beneficial for virtually all disorders known to mankind.

Mild cases of constipation can get corrected just by drinking one litre of lukewarm water on waking up and two litres divided through the rest of the day. Bladder problems as well as headaches can be reduced by drinking water. Inadequate water intake causes building of toxins in the body which can cause headache. Water acts as a cleansing agent and flushes out the toxins reducing frequency of headaches.

Consuming 10-12 glasses (250 ml each) of water can improve conditions like muscle aches, body pain, heartburn, joint pains, kidney stones, constipation, acne, lack lustre, skin allergies, indigestion to a large extent. However, make sure you drink quality water which has been boiled and filtered.

Unfiltered tap water may contain harmful containments chemicals and heavy metals, some of these include iron, lead, copper, fluoride and other heavy metals. Other contaminants like pesticides, industrial chemicals, bacteria, viruses and parasites have been linked to cancer. The quality of tap water can be improved by filtering and boiling it for five minutes. This will kill bacteria and other parasites. Filtration is a method by which contaminants in water are removed. Water that has been purified by steam distillation, or filtered by a reverse osmosis filter, is safe for drinking.

Water Facts
1. Drink at least 10-12 glasses (250 ml each) of water everyday. (Those with kidney problems need to check with their doctor regarding their water intake).
2. Don't drink only when thirsty. Keep a bottle of water within your reach and drink through the day.
3. Tea, coffee and sweetened drinks cannot be taken in lieu of water. On the contrary they increase your need for water as they have a diuretic effect.
4. Contrary to popular belief, increasing water intake does not add to water retention.
5. If you are physically active, you need to increase your water intake to keep your body's water level in balance.
6. Without adequate water, we would poison ourselves with our own wastes.
7. You can squeeze fresh lime juice in your drinking water to boost its cleansing action.

Courtesy:Anjali Mukherjee

Men are Men!!!

2004-11-17T00:56:00.000-08:00

How guys select the girl they want to marry.....

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.

He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of
$5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon,
gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new
outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that
she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him
so much.

The man is impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set
of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some
expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she
has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several
times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the
remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for
their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with
the money.

Guess which lady he chose to marry?
(scroll down for the answer)

* He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!

* Men are Men,!!!

The Importance Of Remaining Motivated...

2004-10-07T04:48:00.000-07:00

There was once a rich landlord who desired to feed his entire village on a special occasion. He decided to hire the best cook in the district and sent for him. 'There should be no question of any compromise. Only the best for the best occasion.' Such was the landlord's desire and wish.

Sensing the rich man's need and desire, the cook asked for a fancy price, to which the zamindar agreed without haggling. Happy at the thought of getting what he had asked for, the cook set about his task earnestly.

On the D-day, the cook and his team arrived with full enthusiasm. The very thought of the high monetary return motivated the cook to such an extent that he in turn inspired his subordinates to give out the very best for the day. Together, the team produced a sumptuous spread that satisfied the palate, the hearts of the villagers and the landlord who had hired the cook.

Every dish was perfectly done and presented. They served the guests with great love and care. The food was so good that there occurred a shortfall. The landlord therefore asked the cook to prepare more of the same items. At this, the cook was slightly upset; nevertheless, he executed his job without complaining.

As it happened, there was a difference in the quality of the food produced the second time. It was not as good this time. Because by now the enthusiasm of the cook had dropped and it had rubbed off on his workers. Somehow, the cook began to get the feeling that he was giving more than he had bargained for.

Nobody seemed to have noticed and very soon, as it happened the first time, there was a shortfall again and the zamindar felt there were still some important members that had been left out. He therefore requested the cook to repeat the magic of producing the same quality of food a third time. This time, the cook was positively not enthusiastic. Surely, the zamindar was asking for much more than he had bargained. The cook did not open his mouth, but there was no denying the fact that the quality was nothing compared to the previous exercises.

The evening drew to a close and the cook and his team began the task of clearing their things. The money was handed over to the cook and he accepted it without too much enthusiasm. As the cook was preparing to leave, the zamindar asked him to wait. He then ordered his servants to bring the packets that he had kept aside for the cook. The cook was initially surprised. He was totally taken aback when he realised that the packets the zamindar had asked for were indeed the last lot of food cooked by him, now packed for him in neat containers. The zamindar had been so pleased with his cooking that he didn't want the cook's family to miss the fare. The important members that the zamindar had referred to had been the cook's family members.

At this, the cook blanched. If only he had known…

Does it not tell us how important it is in life to keep our motivation level at its best, whatever the circumstance?

Are you Lucky ..?

2004-10-07T04:31:00.000-07:00

Why do some people get all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve? A psychologist says he has discovered the answer.

Ten years ago, I set out to examine luck. I wanted to know why some people are always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune.

I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me. Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and, over the years, I have interviewed them, monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments. The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behavior are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune.

Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: "Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win £250."

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it. Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected.

As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.

Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for. My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

Towards the end of the work, I wondered whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person.

Dramatic results:

These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck. One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80% of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier. The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky. Finally, I had found the elusive "luck factor".

Here are Professor Wiseman's four top tips for becoming lucky:
1) Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right
2) Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine
3) Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well
4) Visualize yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.

Luck is very often a self-fulfilling prophecy

Compassion Vs Love

2004-10-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

I have always wondered what does the world needs the most, Love or Compassion? Strange question you might wonder but I believe that in the answer lies solutions to most of our problems in daily life.

First let us understand each word as to what they stand for. Compassion is a combination of 2 latin words com (together) plus pati (to bear or suffer), literally translating to suffering with another, the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it. Love on the other hand, one of the most misused word (more misused than the word sorry), derived from an old english word lufu, or leubh in Indo-eurpoean roots, stands for deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person), feelings of intense desires, emotional attachment to a person (some times objects or animals). Over a period of time the words begin to stand for lot more than what they mean.

Love is a highly personal affair and it is very difficult for person to share it beyond a certain immediate surrounding. One could probably love the spouse, parents or siblings or the granparents or the children. You would agree if I safely state that to love every one is nearly impossible for a human being. You would possibly not love that begger you see on your daily route, nor the shop keeper from where you buy your groceries, nor the cop who safe guards your locality, nor the neighbour who throws the thrash in front of your house, nor the relatives who keep demanding more and more from you. Love isalso a tricky affair in the sense that it hurts some times and very badly too. Many people need help to recover from the loss of relationships, or the loss of loved one due to death. It is some times difficult even to love god! There is a saying "trust in god but lock your car"! What a wonderful way to begin a relationship of trust and love!! I hate god when some one cheats me, I hate god when things go wrong, I hate the god who does not take care of me inspite of me giving my best, I hate the god who lets people kill, rape, plunder others. To me love and hate are the two sides of the same insanity, we go crazy with both of them. Inspite of all the romantic love in our world, we still are plagued by lonliness, doubt, hate, resent, regret and a true lack of love.

On the other hand lets look at compassion. To me compassion is a relatively easier and sensible path to follow. Compassion is being able to understand others and why they suffer. It is also about doing some thing to relieve them of the suffering. In the process of understanding why others suffer, I also understand why I suffer and in finding a cure for other's suffering I find a cure for mine. By reaching out to others I over come my lonliness, I begin to understand others without being attached to them. I create a bond of trust with others. "I trust that no one will steal and hence I dont lock my car". I need not love the begger in my route to understand his problems or empathize with his feelings of hunger and lonliness. As a small kid I could understand when some one stole my favourite sweater, that the thieve's need was greater than mine. I can understand why people are driven to violence and hatred. We need not love people from every other religion or sect or creed, but we certainly can understand them and be compassionate with them as humans.

Compassion gives me a path to understand the world and yet stay detached from it if I wanted to. It also gives me a path where in I can help others and expect nothing in return because in the process I have already helped my self. The need for compassion is more than even the need for love.

Passing Thought
"I believe that we need compassion to even understand love and the world today needs a lot of compassion before love. "

Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply

2004-10-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

"Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply:

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.! If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.' (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9: Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.

10: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

11: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

12: I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:

13: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.

Motivation...

2004-10-05T04:15:00.000-07:00

In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said,"Wedon't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."

The group was called The Beatles.

*****
In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modelling Agency, told modelling hopeful Norma JeanBaker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married."

She went on and became Marilyn Monroe.

*****
In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry,Fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere.... son. You ought to go back todrivin' a truck."

He went on to become the most popular singer in America named Elvis Presley.

*****
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls frompotential backers. After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazinginvention, but who would ever want to use one of them?"

*****
When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A youngreporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."

******
In the 1940s, another young inventor named ChesterCarlson took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down. In 1947 - after seven long years of rejections! Hefinally got a tiny company in Rochester, New York, the Haloid company, to purchase the rights to his invention an ectrostatic paper-copying process.Haloid became Xerox Corporation we know today. > > > > > >

******
Wilma Rudolph was the 20th of 22 children. She was bornprematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarletfever, which left her with a paralysed left leg. At age9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. Thatsame year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every raceshe entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. Eventually this little girl, who wastold she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.

*****
The Moral of the above Stories:

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face....

You must do the thing you cannot do. And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace. A winner is not one who never fails, but one who NEVER QUITS!

In LIFE, remember that you pass this way only once! let's live life to the fullest and give it our extreme best....have a blissful life...

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law...

Origin of "Paid Leave"

2004-10-05T02:47:00.000-07:00

Try this out:

At command prompt of any Unix ($), type : cal 9 1752 Surprised????
See the explanation for what you see.

If you are not in Unix don't worry; see below:

September 1752

$ cal 9 1752

September 1752
S M Tu W Th F S
1 2 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30

Isn't the output queer?

A month with whole eleven days less?

This was the time England shifted from Roman Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar, and the king of England ordered those 11 days to be wiped off the face of the month of September of 1752. (What couldn't a King do in those days?!)

And yes, the workers worked for 11 days less, but got paid for the entire 30 days.

And that's how "Paid Leave" was born. (Bless those people).

Brainwash on Promotion & Increment

2004-10-01T01:15:00.000-07:00

Enjoy This............

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the company is not doing any thing about it.

So he decided to walk up to his manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his manager his observation.

The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;

My friend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours ie. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 - 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left.How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I understood Sir ! thank you sir for all the money you have been giving me, I am sorry for trying to steal from the Company !!!

Evolution of company policies !

2004-09-30T02:55:00.000-07:00

Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable. Sooner enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed with cold water, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious; but, undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why?? However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder. A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.

One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why?

And that's how any company's policies & procedures get established !!

Make way for the Indian

2004-09-03T22:43:00.000-07:00

Did you know the following facts about India.

1. India invented the Number system. Pingalacharya invented ¡¥zero.¡¦ in 200 BC.
2. Indians discovered the size, shape, rotation andgravity of earth about 1000 years beforeKelvin,Galileo,Newton and Copper Nicus. Aryabhatta Iwas the first to explain spherical shape,size,diameter,rotaion and correct speed of Earth in 499AD.
3. Newton¡¦s law of Gravitational force is an ancientIndian discovery. In Siddhanta Siromani (Bhuvanakosam 6 ) Bhaskaracharya II described aboutgravity of earth about 400 years before Sir IsaacNewton.
4. Bhaskaracharya II discovered Differentialcalculus.
5. Theory of Continued Fraction was discovered byBhaskaracharya II.
6. The place value system, the decimal system wasdeveloped in India in 100 BC.
7. Indians discovered Arithmetic and Geometricprogression. Arithmetic progression is explained inYajurveda.
8. Govindaswamin discovered Newton Gauss Interpolationformula about 1800 years before Newton.
9. Vateswaracharya discovered Newton Gauss BackwardInterpolation formula about 1000 years before Newton.
10. Madhavacharya discovered Taylor series of Sine andCosine function about 250 years before Taylor.
11. Madhavacharya discovered Newton Power series.
12. Madhavacharya discovered Gregory Leibnitz seriesfor the Inverse Tangent about 280 years beforeGregory.
13. Madhavacharya discovered Leibnitz power series forpi about 300 years before Leibnitz.
14. Parameswaracharya discovered Lhuiler¡¦s formulaabout 400 years before Lhuiler.
15. Nilakanta discovered Newton¡¦s Infinite GeometricProgression convergent series.
16. Theorems relating the diameter,volume andcircumference of circles discovered byMadhavacharya,Puthumana Somayaji,Aryabhatta,Bhaskaracharya¡K¡K.
17. The value of pi was first calculated by AryabhattaI in 499 AD,ie more than 1350 years before Lindemann
18. Boudhayana discovered Pythagorus Theorem in 800BC.ie 300 years before Pythagorus.
19. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came fromIndia. Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya inthe 11th Century.
20. While the Greeks were using only upto a maximumvalue 1000, Indians could go upto 18th power of 10level during Vedic period.
21. Infinity was well known for ancient Indians.BhaskaracharyaII in Beejaganitha(stanza-20) has givenclear explanation with examples for infinity
22. Positive and Negative numbers and theircalculations were explained first by Brahmagupta inhis book Brahmasputa Siddhanta.
23. Sterling formula was discovered by Brahmaguptaabout 1000 years before Sterling.
24. Demovier¡¦s theorem of positive integral wasdiscovered by Brahmagupta in 628 A.D, i.e around 1000years before Demovier.
25. Puthumana Somayaji discovered Demovier¡¦sinfinite series in 1140 AD,i.e more than 200 yearsbefore Demovier.
26. Maharshi Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his timeconducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract,fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anesthesia waswell known in ancient India. He was the first personto perform plastic surgery.
27. When many cultures in the world were only nomadicforest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indiansestablished Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (IndusValley Civilization).
28. The world¡¦s first University was established inTakshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from allover the world studied more than 60 subjects. TheUniversity of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC wasone of the greatest achievements of ancient India inthe field of education.
29. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is themost suitable language for computer software.
30. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine knownto humans.
31. Although western media portray modern images ofIndia as poverty stricken and underdeveloped throughpolitical corruption, India was once the richestempire on earth.
32. According to the Gemmological Institute ofAmerica, until 1896, India was the only source ofdiamonds to the world.
33. USA based IEEE has proved what has been acentury-old suspicion amongst academics that thepioneer of wireless communication was ProfessorJagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.
34. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation wasbuilt in Saurashtra.
35. Chess was invented in India.
36. The first philosopher who formulated ideas aboutthe atom in a systematic manner was Kanada who livedin the 6th century B.C.
37. All the atomic reactors in the world are in ShivaLinga Shape which is an Indian contribution.
38. Padanjali maharshi discovered Sound waves.
39. Yoga is an ancient Indian gift to the world.
40. Shayanacharya discovered velocity of light.
41. Maharshi Bharadwaja discovered different types oflight rays.
42. Maharshi Bharadwaja was the first person to givedefinition about aeroplane. He explained aboutdifferent types aeroplanes in his book ¡§VimanaThantra¡¨ about 2000 years before Right Brothers.
43. Maharshi Bharadwaja discovered spectrometer. Inhis ¡§Yantra Sarvaswa¡¨ he explained about more than100 instruments.
44. The different colours of light, VIBGYOR arementioned in Rigveda which was written more than 6000 years ago.
45. Maharshi Charaka discovered Psychology and Quantumhealing system.
46. Varahamihira discovered the concept of ¡§Buddingof plants¡¨.
47. Varahamihira discovered Comets in 505 AD, i.e more than 1100 years before Haley.
48. Gouthama Maharshi discovered the wave nature ofsound about 1400 years before Hyghen.
49. Seven continents are mentioned in Padmapurana.
50. Judo and karate which are coming to India fromthe far-east originated in ancient India

Opportunity

2004-08-31T22:31:00.000-07:00

The story is told of a young man who wished to marry the farmer's beautiful daughter. He went to the farmer to ask his permission.

The farmer looked him over and responded, "Son, go stand out in that field and I'm going to release three bulls, one at a time. If you can catch the tail of any one of the three bulls, you can marry my daughter."

The young man stood in the pasture awaiting the first bull. The barn door opened and out ran the biggest, meanest-looking bull he had ever seen. He decided that one of the next bulls had to be a better choice than this one, so he ran over to the side and let the bull pass through the pasture out the back gate.

The barn door opened again. Unbelievable. He had never seen anything so big and fierce in his life.It stood - pawing the ground,grunting, slinging slobber - as it eyed him. Whatever the next bull was like, it had to be a better choice than this one. He ran to the fence and let the bull pass through the pasture, out the back gate.

The door opened a third time. A smile came across his face. This was the weakest, scrawniest little bull he had ever seen. This one was his bull. As the bull came running by, he positioned himself just right and jumped at just the exact moment. He grabbed... but the bull had no tail!

Life is full of opportunities. Some will be easy to take advantage of, some will be difficult. But once we let them pass (often in hopes of something better), those opportunities may never again be available.

May you take advantage of the doors God opens for you this day.

RIGHT PERCEPTION

2004-08-24T00:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. We miss out some warmth in human relationship to give each other support. Treasure what you have.

Just a little story ....

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and fascinated by its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.

QUESTIONS :

1. What were the four words ?

2. What is the implication of this story?

THINK & then LOOK down to read....

ANSWER :

1. The husband just said "I Love You Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happenned. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

2. "Ideas r like rabbits. U get a couple, learn how 2 look after them, & pretty soon u have a dozen."

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

2004-08-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

Jack and Max are walking from religious service.

Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

For Example : Can I work on this project while I'm on vacation?

GRE Student and a Normal Student

2004-08-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

The choice of words and use of language as distinguised between a GRE Student and a Normal Student......very interesting.

A NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold.
A GRE STUDENT: All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

A NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers.

A GRE STUDENT : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.

A NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales.
A GRE STUDENT :Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.

A NORMAL PERSON : Beginner's luck.
A GRE STUDENT : Neophite's serendipity.

A NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no moss.
A GRE STUDENT : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.

A NORMAL PERSON : Birds of the same feather flock together.
A GRE STUDENT: Members of an avian speciesof identical plumage tend to congregate.

A NORMAL PERSON : Beauty is only skin deep.
A GRE STUDENT : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

A NORMAL PERSON : Cleanliness is godliness.
A GRE STUDENT : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

A NORMAL PERSON : There's no use crying over spilt milk
A GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid.

A NORMAL PERSON : Spare the rod and spoil the child.
A GRE STUDENT : Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.

A NORMAL PERSON : The pen is mightier than the sword.
A GRE STUDENT : The stylus is more potent than the rapier.

A NORMAL PERSON : U can't try to teach an old dog new tricks.
A GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative aneuvers.

A NORMAL PERSON : Look before you leap
A GRE STUDENT :Surveillance should precede saltation.

A NORMAL PERSON : twinkle,twinkle, little star.
A GRE STUDENT : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.

A NORMAL PERSON : He who laughs last, laughs the best.
A GRE STUDENT : The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.

A NORMAL PERSON : All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
A GRE STUDENT : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.

A NORMAL PERSON : People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
A GRE STUDENT :Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised
to refrain from catapulting petrious projectiles.

A NORMAL PERSON : Where there's smoke, there's fire.
A GRE STUDENT :Where there are visible vapors having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

Think..........

2004-08-05T01:30:00.000-07:00

Hi friends,

There is a saying that if u "ASSUME", you are making a "ass" of "u" and "me". The idea behind this blog is that we tend to assume / interpret lot of things without going to the details and in the process wasting our time and effort over things that need not be done in the first place.

To quote an incident:

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops-a few people got on, a few got off, and things went
generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!," the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."

Moral of the story:

Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.

Cheers,

Prince

Programming in 'C' - The Way Forward

2004-08-02T22:51:00.000-07:00

This best of all programming rules the world......

Here is a very interesting program. Ensoy....

#include
#include
#define MAAL beautiful_lady

main()
{
goto college;
scanf("100%",&ladies);

if(lady == MAAL)
line++;
while( !reply )
{

printf("I Love U");

scanf("100%",&reply);

}

if(reply == "GAALI")
main(); /* go back and repeat the process
*/

else if(reply == "SANDAL ")
exit(1);

else if(reply == "I Love U")
{
lover = MAAL;
love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover));
}

goto restaurant;

restaurant:
{
food++;
smile++;
pay->money = lover->money;
return(college);
}

if(time==2.30)
goto cinema;

cinema:
{
watch++;
touch++ ;
if(intermission)
{
coke++;
smoke++;

}
}

if(time ==6.00)
goto park;

park:
{
for(time=6.30;time<=8.30;time+=0.001)
kiss = kiss+1;
}

free(lover);
return(home);

if(time ==9.30)
goto pub;

pub:
{
friends++;
party++;
booze++;
smoke++;

if(pub.close())
{
pay->bill;
come->out;
}
}

if (highly->intoxicated)
goto friendsroom;
else
{
sweetpan++;
polo++;
goto home;
}

friendsroom:
{
goto sleep;
}

home:
{
if(mom.shouts())
{
reason=(combinedstudy projectwork
friendsbday);
say->reason;
}
if(dad.shouts())
shut->yourmouth;

call->lover;
if(phone->voice==(lover_dad->voice
lover_mom->voice))
{
hang++;
}
else if(phone->voice==lover->voice)
{
for(time=12:30;time<=1.30;time+=0.001)
{
say->ILuvU;
scanf("100%",&reply); /* "I Love U" already
stored in reply */
}
}
goto sleep;
}

sleep:
{
*(dream)=love;
}
}

Attitude does matter

2004-08-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

Hi guys,

All of us go through:
lots of ups and downs,
lots of pain and sorrows,
lots of days waiting for something to happen,
But, things happen the way it does, slow and painfully slow.

So, it is important that we retain the atttitude to make the difference and move forward.

To quote an incident:

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS.

Fromworld over, he received letters from his fans, one of whichconveyed :

"Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:
The world over --5 crore children start playing tennis,
50 lakh learn to play tennis,
5 lakh learn professional tennis,
50,000 come to the circuit,
5000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbeldon,
4 to semi final,
2 to the finals,

When I was holding the cup I never asked GOD "Why me?".

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"

Happiness keeps u Sweet,
Trials keep u Strong,
Sorrow keeps u Human,
Failure Keeps u Humble,
Success keeps u Glowing,
But only God Keeps u Going.

Dont Lose heart....

Classic Definitions

2004-07-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Love affairs :
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage :
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

Divorce :
Future tense of marriage.

Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notesof the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel, a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father :
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Employee:
One who gets paid for reading such mails......

Hope you like them....

DILBERT'S BEST ONE - LINERS

2004-07-15T21:26:00.000-07:00

...I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either
....I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by
....Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it
....Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue
.....Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't need him again
....I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM
....Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
...My reality cheque bounced
....On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key
....I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier
....You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter
....Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup
....Everybody is somebody else's weirdo
....Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience
....A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt
....Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted
....After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before
....The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. ...You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard
....Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day
....If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done
....When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried
....Following the rules will not get the job done
....When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would Shaktimaan handle this?"
...Only the mediocre are at their best all the time
....There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line
....Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king
....If at first you don't succeed......skydiving isn't for you
....Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life
....When everything is coming your way......you're in the wrong lane.

Polish Divorce

2004-07-13T23:12:00.000-07:00

This humorous Court proceedings...

A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well.

Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him, "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
POLE: JA, JA, an acre and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms.
LAWYER No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
POLE: It is made of concrete, brick and mortar.
LAWYER: Does either of you have a real grudge?
POLE: No,we have a two-car carpark and have never really needed one
LAWYER: I mean, what are your relations like?
POLE: All my relations are in Poland.
LAWYER: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
POLE: Yes, we have a hi-fidelity stereo set & DVD player. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.
LAWYER: No, I mean , does your wife beat you up?
POLE: NO, I'm always up before her.
LAWYER: Is your wife a nagger?
POLE: No, she white.
LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce?
POLE: She is going to kill me.
LAWYER: What makes you think so ?
POLE: I got proof.
LAWYER: What kind of proof?
POLE: She is going to poison me.She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on shelf in bathroom.I can read --it says, "Polish Remover."!!!~!!

A Hindu Parable

2004-07-12T21:51:00.000-07:00

Lord Krishna wanted to test the wisdom of his kings.

One day he summoned Duryodana. Duryodana was well known throughout the land for his cruelty and miserliness, and his subjects lived in terror.

Lord Krishna said to King Duryodana, "I want you to go and travel the world over and find for me one truly good man."

Duryodana replied, "Yes, Lord," and obediently began his search.

He met and spoke with many people, and after much time had passed he returned to Lord Krishna saying, "Lord, I have done as you have asked and searched the world over for one truly good man. He is not to be found. All of them are selfish and wicked. Nowhere is there to be found this good man you seek!"

Lord Krishna sent him away and called Dhammaraja. He was a king well known for his generosity and benevolence and well loved by all his people.

Krishna said to him, "King Dhammaraja, I wish for you to travel the world over and bring to me one truly wicked man." Dhammaraja also obeyed, and on his travels met and spoke with many people.

After much time had passed he returned to Krishna saying, "Lord, I have failed you. There are people who are misguided, people who are misled, people who act in blindness but nowhere could I find one truly evil man. They are all good at heart despite their failings!"

The feeling of Love

2004-07-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge and all of the others, including Love.

One day, it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.

Love was the only one who stayed.
Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment.
When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a great boat.
Love said:"Richness, can you take me with you?"
Richness answered:"No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity, who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel:"Vanity, please help me!".
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by, so Love asked for help: "Sadness, let me go with you."
"Oh...Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice:"Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder her name.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Love realizing how much he owed the elder asked Knowledge, another elder:"Who helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered: "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

RULE, LAW, THEOREM and PRINCIPLES

2004-07-07T22:09:00.000-07:00

BELL'S THEOREM
When the body is immersed in water , the telephone rings.

RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

WILLOUGHBY'S LAW
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

BREDA'S RULE
At any performance, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

OWEN'S LAW
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffeee is cold.

HOWDEN'S LAW
You remember to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox.

Cheer up folks!!!!!!!

2004-07-05T01:05:00.000-07:00

1) A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"

Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
*************************
2) A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women say in a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
*************************
3) A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain! . God made me beautiful ! so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
*************************
4) Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring out the animal in me."

"So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a mouse?"
*************************

Sardarji:I want to stich curtain for my computer
Tailor : Why curtain for computer
Sardarji: I got Windows installed on my computer
--------------------------------
Saddam meets Kajol asks her how is life?
Kajol says Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gum . How about u?
Saddam says Kabhi Bush Kabhi Bomb
--------------------------------
Teacher asks Who is Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Sardaarji :They all r 4 best friends
--------------------------------
Sardaarji tells his wife
Tum meri Kalpana ho
Tum meri Bhavana ho
Tum meri prerna ho
Wife says :Chalo, aaj sye aap mere liye Dinesh,Rakesh,Suresh
ho
--------------------------------
Sardaarji had twins Named Tin & Martin
Again had twins named Peter & Repeater
Again had twins named Max & Climax
Again had Twins got fedup named Tired & Retired
--------------------------------
Har samundhar mye saahil nahi hota,Wah,wah,Wah......
Har jaahaz mye misile nahi hota, Wah,wah,Wah......
Agar Dhirubhai nahi hota to har lucche kye pass mobile nahi hota
--------------------------------

How Clever are you?

2004-07-02T21:42:00.000-07:00

Think You are Clever?

Below are 4 questions. Answer them instantly. You

can't take your time.

Answer them immediately. No pencil or paper! OK?

Let's find out just how smart and clever you really

are. Ready? ... GO!!!

FIRST QUESTION: You are participating in a race.
You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?

ANSWER: If you answer that you are first, then you are

Absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person

And you take his place, you are second! Try not to

Screw up in the next question.

To answer the second question, don't take as much

time as you took for the first question.

(You know you took too much time.)

SECOND QUESTION: If you overtake the last person, then
you are...?

ANSWER: If you answered that you are second to last,
then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you
overtake the LAST person?!

THIRD QUESTION: Very tricky math! Note: This must be
done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or
a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.

Now add another 1000.

Now add 30.

Add another 1000.

Now add 20.

Now add another 1000.

Now add 10.

What is the total?

ANSWER: Did you get 5000? The correct answer is
actually 4100.

Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is

definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last

question right?

LAST QUESTION: Mary's father has five daughters:

Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono.

What is the name of the fifth daughter?

ANSWER: Nunu? Nana? Nene? NONO! Of course not. The

fifth daughter's name is Mary.

Read the question again.

You ARE the WEAKEST LINK!!

********************
Deepest Rivers run in Silence.
We Cannot Direct the Wind But We Can Adjust Our Sails.
To Find Faults, Don't Use a Lens, Use a Mirror.
********************

Spooky

2004-07-01T21:45:00.000-07:00

THE KEY

CALIFORNIAN Williard Lovell locked herself out of her house. She spent 10 minutes trying to find a way in when the postman handed her a letter from her brother. In it was the spare key he had taken back to Washington after a visit.

TWO LAURAS

IN June 2001, 10-year-old Laura Buxton of Burton, Staffs, was at a party where she wrote her name and address on a luggage label, attached it to a helium balloon and released it into the sky. It floated 140 miles until finally coming to rest in the garden of another 10-year-old Laura Buxton, in Pewsey, Wilts. The girls got in touch and became friends, upon which they found each had fair hair, owned a black Labrador, guinea pig and rabbit.

SHARED FORE-TUNES

A STRAY golf ball hit a man on a course in Stockport, Cheshire, in September 2001. Ten days later his wife was hit by a ball at the same spot...struck by the sam! e golfer.

SISTERS' GRAVE ERROR

SISTERS Doris Jean Hall and Sheila Wentworth both decided to drop in on each other for a surprise visit. As they were travelling in opposite directions on the rural American highway, Alabama 25, their identical jeeps collided and both were killed.

WHEELIE SPOOKY

FILM star James Dean, pictured above at the wheel of his Porsche Spyder sports car, died aged 24 in 1955 when he crashed it. The car was taken to a garage, where it fell on a mechanic, breaking his leg. The engine was sold to a doctor who put it in his racing car, crashed and died. In the same race a car using the drive shaft from Dean's car crashed. The driver also died. When the car's shell was put on display, the showroom burned down. When it
was exhibited again in Sacramento it fell off the stand on to a visitor, breaking his hip.

FROZEN IN TIME

NOVELIST Anne Parrish was excited to find a copy of J! ack Frost And Other Stories on a secondhand bookstall in Paris. It was her favourite book at her Colorado Springs nursery, but she'd not seen a copy since she was a child. She showed it to her husband who opened it. He found the inscription: "Anne Parrish, 209 N Weber Street, Colorado Springs".

LOVER'S LEAP

AFTER finding her husband had been unfaithful, Vera Czermak, of Prague, threw herself from her third floor balcony. By chance she landed on her husband who was walking directly below. It killed him while she escaped injury.

TWO LITTLE BIRDIES

A GOLFER watched his perfect drive collide mid-flight with a ball hit by another player from the opposite direction. Astounded by the coincidence, both players met and introduced themselves - they were both called Kevin O'Brien.

STRANGERS ON THE SHORE

AS John Peskett flicked through his wife's childhood holiday snaps, a couple in the background c! aught his eye - his parents. John and his wife Shirley, then strangers and both 10, had been on the same beach on holiday at Minehead in Somerset in 1963 - 11 years before they first began dating.

DOUBLE HITCH

WHILE hitchhiking in New Zealand in 1994 Nick Witty exchanged addresses with a man who gave him a lift. Two years later a friend got a lift from the same man while in New Zealand. He said: "Last time I picked up an Englishman was
two years ago." He pulled Nick's address from the glove compartment.

DEATH TAKES HOLIDAY

IN 1946 Mildred West, an obituary writer on New York's Alton Evening Telegraph, took a week's holiday. During her absence, and for the first time in the newspaper's history, there were no deaths recorded in Alton (pop 32,000). Normally they average 10 a week.

BRIDGE TOO FAR

RICHARD Besinger was run over and killed while walking in the middle of a bridge in California in 1957! . Two years later his son Hiram was killed on the same bridge when a timber truck overturned on him. Six years after that, his 14-year-old great-grandson David Whisler was mowed down there by a car.

KIMONO BURNED DOWN TOKYO

A KIMONO successively owned by three teenage girls, each of whom died before they had a chance to wear it, was so unlucky it was cremated by a priest in 1657. But as it burned, a wind fanned the flames and started a blaze. The fire destroyed three-quarters of Tokyo, levelling 300 temples, 500 palaces, 9,000 shops, 61 bridges, and killing 100,000 people.

WRONG TRACK

IN August 1995 Lisa Potter was walking with her mother when they came to the Moots Lane railway crossing in Essex. Lisa's father had been killed there 11 years previously and her mother refused to walk any further. Lisa decided it was time her mother overcame her superstition and tried to encourage her across. But as she stood on the cross! ing a train suddenly appeared and hit Lisa, killing her instantly.

WHERE THERE'S MUCK

BARBARA Hutton, accidentally flushed her antique bracelet down the toilet. Months later Barbara, from Woodley, Berks, was in a jewellers' when a man brought in her bracelet to be valued. He had found it while working in a sewer.

MY NUMBER'S UP

A MAN called Todd was at the Australian Rules football Grand Final in 1990 where spectators were tearing up pages from telephone books and tossing them into the air whenever a point was scored. A shredded strip landed on Todd's lap. Just as he was about to brush it away he noticed he was looking at his own name, address and phone number.

strange...very strange...

A Beautiful Analogy...

2004-06-30T00:03:00.000-07:00

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard
trimmed.

As the barber began to work, they began to have a good
conversation.

They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they
eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God
doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?

Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he
didn't want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just
after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he
said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.

"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! " answered the barber. " What happens,
is, people do not come to me. "

"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too,
DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him.

That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Lighten up

2004-06-29T03:01:00.000-07:00

A woman takes a lover during the day while her Husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home
unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom
closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes
home. She puts her lover in the closet, not
realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab
your glove, let's go outside and have a game of
catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my
glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy -"$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your
friends like that...that is way more than those two
things cost. I'm going to take you to church and
make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the
little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes
the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again"

STRESS MANAGEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-06-27T23:39:00.000-07:00

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management.

He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"

The students' answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.

"It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is Ok.

If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.

It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier."

"What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again."

We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.

So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Life is short, enjoy it!!

Decision Making - Thought Provoking..

2004-06-21T21:45:00.000-07:00

The story given below is quite interesting and really gives us an
insight into DECISION MAKING.

What would you do ?

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused.

Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the
operational track. The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. You could make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids.

However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's pause to think what kind of decision we could make.......

Scroll down if you have no patience.

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and
sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally.

But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the
disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are.

The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

The person who wrote the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens.

If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die
because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake!

And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

"Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right." Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.
Think about it : ))

Wife

2004-06-16T23:31:00.000-07:00

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
----------------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
------------------------------------------------------------
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was
water in the carburetor."
I asked her , "Where's the car?"
She replied,"In the lake."
--------------------------------------------------------------
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I
was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in ! love and
didn't notice."
------------------------------------------------------------------
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to
interrupt her.
---------------------------------------------------------
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I
got myself two girlfriends.
---------------------------------------------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to
report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
------------------------------------------------------- ----
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
----------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost
to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
---------------------- ------------------------------------
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a
Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
---------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
----------------------------------------------------------
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."
--------------------------------------------------------
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a
millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
"A billionaire." she replied,
----------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over exp! erience.
----------------------------------------------------------
It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.
----------------------------------------------------------
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost
impossible.
------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life Thinking they had no faults at all.
---------------------------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
----------------------------------------------------------
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for
whatever he wants,
But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says,"Okay, give me a
million dollarsa and beat me till I'm half dead."
---------------------------------------------------------
Men who have pierced ears are bette r prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.
----------------------------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is
to forget it once.
----------------------------------------------------------
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive

No matter what good you do...........

2004-06-16T01:42:00.000-07:00

A few Managers were given the assignment to measure the height of
flagpole. So the Managers go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures. They're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures the whole thing is just a mess. An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over,pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away. After the Engineer has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer! We're looking for height and he gives the length!"

Moral: No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in you.

Arz kiya hai... Aadaab zaroor karna!!!

2004-06-15T01:20:00.000-07:00

Aisa bhi nahin hai ke
I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
No more disk space...
-----------------------------------------------------
Ghar se jab tum nikale
pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya server down...
-----------------------------------------------------
Jabse meri zindagi mein,
aayi hai ik female.
Bhool gaya hai sab kuchh
kya mailbox, kya e-mail...
-----------------------------------------------------
Dil se ek ishq ki
application create kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se debug karna
mein wait kar raha hoon...
-----------------------------------------------------
Tumhaare intezaar mein
neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection
time out ho gaya...
-----------------------------------------------------
Kal jab mile thhe
to dil mein hua ek sound.
Aur aaj mile to kehte hain
your file not found!
-----------------------------------------------------
Jo muddat se hota aaya hai,
woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi
ctrl+alt+delete kar doonga...
-----------------------------------------------------
Shayad mere pyar ko
taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa cut kiya
ke paste karna bhool gaye...
-----------------------------------------------------
Laakhon honge nigaah mein
kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke icon pe
kabhi to double-click karo...
---------------------------------------------------
Roz subha hum karte hain
pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain
jaise 0 errors aur 5 warning...
-----------------------------------------------------
Nazar mein to kai hain
aur shaayad lonely hain...
Problem yehi hai ki voh
ab read only hain...

Great Human Resource STRATEGY

2004-06-12T01:59:00.000-07:00

One day while walking down the street, a highly successful HR
Director was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in
though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Director make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.

They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing.

She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as
she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St Peter came and got her.

So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," he said.

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never
thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went
down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her and smiled and said, "Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're staff..."

Some thoughts to ponder

2004-06-09T03:44:00.000-07:00

====================================================

Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

=================================================

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

====================================================

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired

=================================================

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

=================================================

Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

=================================================

Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

=================================================

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

=================================================

Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

=================================================

Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

=================================================

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

=================================================

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak

====================================================

Last wishes of Alexandar the Great

2004-06-06T22:23:00.000-07:00

There is very instructive incident involving the life of Alexander, the great Greek king. Alexander, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the way, he fell ill and it took him to his death bed. With death staring him in his face, Alexander realized how his conquests, his great army, his sharp sword and all his wealth were of no consequence. He now longed to reach home to see his mother's face and bid her his last adieu. But, he had to accept the fact that his sinking health would not permit him to reach his distant homeland. So, the mighty conqueror lay prostrate and pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last. He called his generals and said, "I will depart from this world soon, I have three wishes, please carry them out without fail." With tears flowing down their cheeks, the generals agreed to abide by their king's last wishes.

"My first desire is that, " said Alexander, "My physicians alone must carry my coffin." After a pause, he continued, "Secondly, I desire that when my coffin is being carried to the grave, the path leading to the graveyard be strewn with gold, silver and precious stones which I have collected in my treasury." The king felt exhausted after saying this. He took a minute's rest and continued. "My third and last wish is that both my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin." The people who had gathered there wondered at the king's strange wishes. But no one dare bring the question to their lips. Alexander's favorite general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart. "O king, we assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled. But tell us why do you make such strange wishes?"

At this Alexander took a deep breath and said: "I would like the world to know of the three lessons I have just learnt. I want my physicians to carry my coffin because people should realize that no doctor can really cure any body. They are powerless and cannot save a person from the clutches of death. So let not people take life for granted.

The second wish of strewing gold, silver and other riches on the way to the graveyard is to tell
people that not even a fraction of gold will come with me. I spent all my life earning riches but cannot take anything with me. Let people realize that it is a sheer waste of time to chase wealth.

And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of the coffin, I wish people to know that I came empty handed into this world and empty handed I go out of this world." With these words, the king closed his eyes. Soon he let death conquer him and breathed his last.

7 reasons not to mess with a child

2004-06-06T21:56:00.000-07:00

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human because even though it was
a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask
Jonah".
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
of children while they were drawing. She would
occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what
God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked,
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of
a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill..."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly
noticed that her mother had several strands of white
hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of
my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's
hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the
teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a
copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you
are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's
Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of
the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer,
she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn
red in the face.." "Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my
feet?" A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of
the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end
of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
God is watching the apples.

Boss and his subordinate

2004-06-02T04:02:00.000-07:00

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead.

"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.

"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss.

By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts,

I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."

Two Days We Should Not Worry

2004-06-01T21:26:00.000-07:00

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry,
two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares,
its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed;
we cannot erase a single word we said.
Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow
with all its possible adversities, its burdens,
its large promise and its poor performance;
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise,
either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow,
for it is yet to be born.

This leaves only one day, Today.
Any person can fight the battle of just one day.
It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities
Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad,
it is the remorse or bitterness of something
which happened Yesterday and the dread of what
Tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore,
Live but one day at a time.

MY FIRST LOVE

2004-05-31T03:04:00.000-07:00

I First met him in restuarant
& was attracted by his appearance
He was brown, strong & bubbling with aroma
He was burning with joy & radiating it all around.

And he came closer to me
I felt him hot
from then on,
He was my constant companion

He was at my bed side every morning
His touch on my lips made me feel refreshing
I met him twice a day
He made me long for him, when he was away

Could you guess who's he?

He's My coffee!!!!!!!

Human Mind

2004-05-28T13:44:00.000-07:00

iH The pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch codnutced at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are tpyed, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit oedrer. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh

The Law of the Seed

2004-05-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but each apple has just ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds!?We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?"
Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."
This might mean:
You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum
cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea.
And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend.
When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us.?Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.
Successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds. When things are beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in your life:
You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.
When the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry!
That's what miserable people do!

On the other hand, let's say you expect that:
Friends SHOULD return favours.
People SHOULD appreciate you.
Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
Everyone SHOULD be honest.
Your partner or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen!? So you end up frustrated and disappointed.
There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences. For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself: "I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!"
This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it Gives you more peace of mind.You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude,it doesn't ruin your day.

You prefer sunshine ... but if it rains, it is ok too!

To become happier, we either need to change the world, or change our thinking. It is easier to change our Thinking!

It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather, it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the Problem.

It's not what happens to you that determine your happiness; it's how you think about what happens to you....

DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM

2004-05-26T22:06:00.000-07:00

Bihar application phorom
This is supposd to be the application form for Bihar Driving License...

DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM

NOTE: If you dot knows, please copy from another applikason phorom.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.

Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.

He will give you the licen.

1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____ not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan

(_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yours: ___

9. Mother name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no, leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack
(_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb mpression.)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE. WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE

2004-05-21T23:32:00.000-07:00

THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE

Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.

How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.

Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.

Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.

Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?

Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but
they all exist very nicely in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day, and
know that someone
who thinks you're great
has thought about you today!..

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

2004-05-21T23:22:00.000-07:00

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE (includes some general observations)....feminists...please excuse

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson.
3. I take my wife everywhere..... but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told
me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

Laugh out Loud...one more time

2004-05-21T02:26:00.000-07:00

TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
L-JOHNY: George!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
L-JOHNY: Me!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
L-JOHNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."
L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same
time."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
L-Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?
L-Johnny: Brotherly love.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

India Shining- The reprise

2004-05-20T11:37:00.000-07:00

India shining!!..am sure it does everytime the election come around.Thankfully, Mr Lyngdoh saw through the facade and put his foot down on the campaign.More than the violation of election code..the campaign is wrong for sweeping tonnes of garbage under the proverbial carpet.

I know the sensex and nifty are rocketing. Its true the bpo\ites boom is happening.the rupee is getting stronger than the dollar. the wto meeting was a big success(by non-decision, mind you).and like the ad shows people are getting tax refunds (Now,thats a new one!!),i know so becos my mom just got her refund cheque in 2 months..my dads refund is due since 2000 but india wasnt shining then ,was it?

This november must be the month of the scams..another moronic politicain taking cash on camera (if i ever laughed at silly villains of indian cinema..am truly sorry).peice de resistance however, must be the mtv one-tight-slap style.."we wil appoint a commitee" as a fitting answer.tarun tejpal is now in the excellent company of the indian express.

Then, the Kalegate..where we saw Kiran More and co stuff more feet than they can ever chew into the collective mouths of the cricket administration.They act like upright heroes who are refusing bribes and making the culprits pay. Yeah, we were all born yesterday!!.(try reading sanjay jha's take on the scenario in www.cricketnext.com).

Latest, CAT paper leaks and IIMs act shocked..why am i not surprised..if CA papers leak, IIT-JEE papers leak, CBSE papers leak,the state board papers dont fall in the newsworthy category..what stops people from leaking CAT papers.not morality.

And Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the big momma, the mind-blowing, the economy crashing, "TAAELGEEEE GATE".if u sold property in maharashtra, u may well go and claim it back..your agreements are probably on fake-stamps and they dont count for much.

This is 30,000 bloody crores..its bigger than all scams put together.like TJS george wrote in today's Indian express, its more than double of the Pakistani defence budget.(I dont know why they cant let us self-destruct peacefully). I mean, half the police top brass are behind bars..and its barely mentioned in papers (IE included).Am sure, in a non-election year it would have been very different. So much for freedom of the press.(Next time someone talks abt the hindu,tell them to take a running jump).

India is shining its head off..just dont lift the carpet.

Assess yourself

2004-05-20T05:20:00.000-07:00

A mother and a baby camel were lazing around, and suddenly the baby
camel asked....

Baby: Mother, mother, may I ask you some questions?
Mother: Sure! Why son, is there something bothering you?
Baby: Why do camels have humps?
Mother: Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store
water and we are known to survive without water.
Baby: Okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded?
Mother: Son, obviously they are meant for walking in th e desert, you
know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone
does! (Mother said proudly).
Baby: Okay, then why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes it bothers my
sight.
Mother: My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover.
They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind.
Said mother camel with eyes rimming with pride....

Baby: I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert,
the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes
protect my eyes from the de sert......
Then what t he hell are we doing here in the Zzzoooooo!!!!!!???

MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
Skills, knowledge, abilities and experiences are only useful if you are at the right place"

Make the best use of what you have

2004-05-20T00:07:00.000-07:00

A water bearer in India had two large pots; each hung on each end of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots, full of water in his master's house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "For the past two years, I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value for your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

what u take from here: A leader always makes the best use of the available resources without worrying about the have nots..what say?

some Quotes

2004-05-19T03:06:00.000-07:00

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?

- Jean Cocturan

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world
everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.

- Jerry Seinfeld

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Stress Relievers

2004-05-18T23:57:00.000-07:00

Stress Reliever # 1
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.
Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Stress Reliever # 4
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

Stress Reliever # 5
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Stress Reliever # 6
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls
Royce."
Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner."

Stress Reliever # 8
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".."My father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up : "We are all human beans."

Stress Reliever # 9
Interviewer to Millionaire : To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire?"
Millionaire : "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer : "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire : "A Billionaire"